Disappearing creatively

Besides selective amnesia, the mind meld method and taichi, there's the lamest tactic of all - Excuses...

It's typically used by junior dark managers because the "flee mechanism" is still very instinctive. Throughout my working life, I've heard many; but the following are the more creative ones
  1. The Father/Mother/Wife/Girlfriend/daughter/son emergency
    There's just so many permutations to go about this, and if you've noticed the rule of thumb; it has to be your most immediate relatives.
    Wife - pregnancy; failure to get pregnant; pregnant but with complications. There's nothing like the notion of an unborn child in distress.
    Father - major illness like cancer, renal failure (something thats protracted where ppl dun die that quickly while being depressing enough)
    Son/Daughter - High fever. Honestly, i think that's really lame, but it somehow works.
    Brother/Sister - loan shark problem. This is really good, cause you come off as a goody big brother/sister role model that your family depends on.

  2. The most recent transmitted decease emergency.
    It used to be SARS, then the Bird flu and the most recent the Swine flu. The cool part about this is the quarantine procedures. You and I know that Human Resources are typically too lazy I mean busy to check whether the person really did either contract the decease or not. Heck, they probably wont even come near you with a 10 feet pole. By virtue of association you get yourself a 5-7 day full salary paid leave, having fun with your PS3 at home.

  3. Emergency Meeting with the VP/President/CEO
    This works as well because no one ever checks where's the head honcho is, let alone bother to ask the secretary of his location. This may even be true, as you could always magically find the time to help the boss synch his blackberry with outlook... something that you've been putting off just for this situation

  4. The family holiday to Australia just came up.
    And guess what, it somehow always come up the week after a major incident where the big presentation to the customer needs to happen. So the chief peon (your no.2 guy needs to do it on your behalf)

    There' a slight nuance to excuse 4; if it's the presentation to your boss; you want to do it yourself cause the presenter might blame it on you. But if its to the customer; the unspoken "code of not making your company look like a useless dick that it is infront of your customer" applies. So you're safe!