Myers Briggs were Wearing Rose Tinted Glasses...

The problem with all these psychometric tests is that, it assumes that the test taker will answer honestly... and that's like asking a cat to chew cud for a Dark Manager.

Here's the Dark Manager's Version of Myers Briggs test:-

Favourite World
  • Extraversion(E) - they bitch all the time about everything to Everyone and its always someone elses fault. (dysmorphic fault myopia syndrom or a dumb fuck management sod). You also hear stuff like "ohhh i use to do that when i was young... i was the best... I was trained in such and such", but you'll never see them actually doing it with a 10 feet pole
  • Introversion(I) - they bitch all the time about everything to THEMSELVES and looks like they're about to go postal.
  • Sensing(S)
    The dark manager that uses facts and intimate knowledge of bureaucracy in order not to work.
  • Intuition(N)
    Builds extrapolations of the worst possible scenario based on completely irrelevant facts that because dogs eat cat turd, these 2 animals can't get along. Sorta like how operations team takes all the crap from projects
  • Thinking(T)
    Scrawny dark managers with glasses that spends 2 whole months to work out a matrix that says there should be another study just to corroborate this study.
  • Feeling(F)
    You're probably a single female, potentially late 30s to 40s. If you're married, you've not been porked for 2 years. If you're male, you're going through male menopause.
  • Judging (J)
    I "love" judgers because they come to conclusions really fast, and they talk fast and never let you finish your sentence cause they're assuming that the everyone sees the world as they do. They are also extremely easy to communicate with because they say that they do understand everything you just said; yet does something completely differently. They also fall in love with you at first sight just because you're tall or have good teeth or speaks with a Caucasoid foreign accent. Typically these are the only people that makes them pause and actually listen. (Asians can go dig a hole and die quietly).
  • Perceiving(P)
    You hear phrases like "we will cross the bridge once we get there"; they'd do everything just to meet some dateline which they've shrunk by 50% to please the boss. Probably decides to add 20 more function points on the fly cause it seems cool and then removes 10 of them 2 hours before the dateline.
If you haven't read psychometric tests and interviews go here.

Who's In Charge

I tend to repeat this "story" whenever I'm assigned tasks which I deem to be improbable or bound for failure. For example, being responsible for something without the authority...


All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

"I should be in charge", said the brain, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".

"I should be in charge", said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away".

"I should be in charge", said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy".

"I should be in charge", said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal".

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic.

Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The moral of the story?

You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just an asshole.