What do you think? Are you confident about the progress of the project?

Perhaps this post would better serve appearing under "white lies/half truth to upper management", but it happens often enough in "Steering Committee" meetings that it's better addressed here.



A steering committee intends to "steer" a particular endeavour towards a roughly correct course or direction. Through the Management's wisdom, having had 5 years working experience (I exaggerate, but you get my point that corporate businesses are being run by folks wet around the ears cause they're related to the boss) their input is like manna from heaven.

So what happens when the "Chairperson" asks you "What do you think? Are you confident about the project?"

As a Dark Manager, there's only ONE answer, "YES SIR! Everything is going on schedule, no major issues".

Even though you know that:-

• half the testing will not be completed because there's not enough time
• the training manuals are 2 versions behind yet still being published anyway
• 80% of the users will not be trained with the product
• Arbitrarily, you decide to re-categorize Major, Moderate and Minor bugs
• Half the team has resigned because they know that the system will go live with a ton of problems.
• The illogical project schedule was dictated by the same "experienced" chairperson.
  

Why? Because based on the principles of Tai Chi - There's always someone else to blame or able to solve your problem.

Corruption = Dark Management?

Eigen observed that "Good Projects" often take years to fruition because of the number of studies and planning required. While "bad projects", those that are fueled by corruption are extremely quick and fast.

And he is SPOT ON!

What's even more amazing is his disclosure that for European companies, foreign bribery is allowed under their corporate governance practices!

Getting a Straight Answer

There are things in life that are certain, like all males have balls unless you’re a Dark Manager where they shrink to the size of ornaments.

Here’s how you can tell when you’re NOT getting a straight answer from a Dark Manager:-

a) I suppose... / I presume.../ I think...
That means that the manager is “guessing” or extrapolating from an assumption or logic. The person “may” be correct, but more often than not wrong. Dumb Dark Managers out number smart ones by 10:1.

b) I believe...
Nope, still not good enough. A belief is based upon “faith” which is as good as believing that there’s an invisible man in the sky that you talk to on a regular basis.

c) I trust...
That’s like saying, all spouses won’t philander, if you have to say that you ‘trust’ someone; it usually means that you don’t trust them enough. Did you ever notice that the moment you say that, you’ll immediately follow up with a phone call to confirm it?

d) It’s possible...
With enough time and money everything is possible. We don’t need another half baked project or situations that “suddenly” go out of hand through acts of God or factors beyond our control

An exact answer means just this.

a) YES or NO. Period.

Followed with...

b) We will or we shall by such and such date...
If this came from a dark manager, he’s a good one. Especially when the statement of commitment was stated loudly vs a whimper. E.g. We SHALL meet the date of 3^rd week in May...

Patients with amygdala injury 'unafraid' to gamble

The amygdala is associated with fear

Californian scientists think they may have discovered the part of the brain which makes people fear losing money.

The study, reported in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, looked at two patients who had damaged their amygdala, deep within the brain.

These patients were less worried about financial losses than the normal volunteers they were compared with.

The scientists say this could translate to how people make decisions in fields ranging from politics to game shows.

'Loss aversion' describes the avoidance of choices which can lead to losses, even when accompanied by equal or much larger gains. Click here for full story

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On the Dark Management front, it now makes a lot of sense why managers make stupid callous decisions. Psychometric tests are highly recommended to include a section on gambling to separate wheat from the chaff!

How to Make Friends and Move Around Paperwork

A colleague made this observation that rules were created to manage exceptions that occurs only 5% of the time while crippling proven everyday processes. If we were to abide by each and every process; nothing would ever move.

So you almost always have to intervene, make friends with the approving authorities and talk it over a cup of coffee.

The gauntlet of procedures, processes, ISO standards and Audit tasks now controls the organization rather than work for it. Why should we even bother with processes then considering that it’s easily side stepped through “relationship”? Adding salt is the fact that through relationships, most of the heinous business crimes are committed; remember Enron and MCI-WorldCom anyone?


So maybe processes need to be replaced by cold heartless computers. No negotiations, just binary Yes or No.

The root cause however, does not lie in the paperwork, but the people running it. Dark Managers being evil, sadistic creatures take root and dig deeper than barnacles to entrench positions while edifying red tape to the stature of Holy Scripture with the CEO being God. I mean, think of it this way, scripture says; Thou Shall not Kill, but it’s OK to kill when God tells you so.

Seriously, why do we put up procedures due to listing requirements? Shouldn’t it happen by default? And why do we complain about it once we have the processes up online like it’s a disease that you inflict on yourself knowing that you don’t have a condom.

It a choice ladies and gents; rule like leaders, or have the rules rule you

The Business and IT Dichotomy

There’s a big difference between IT and Business. Technologists seek absolute certainty; while Businesses thrive on uncertainty.


A good case study would be Microsoft's launch of Windows 95. It may be the crappiest piece of OS at that time, but the businessman in Gates saw that since most software were rotten anyway, it’s ok to release one that’s crappy with style.

Advice for the IT Guy
It doesn’t matter what you think, at the end of the day; if the emperor feels that the invisible clothing looks good, it will be good. Any further negativity will label you a whiner.

Advice for the Business Guy
Once in a blue moon just humour the IT guy to a cup of coffee. You might just learn a thing or two, and thank God that you’ve outgrown being a geek.

Advice for the Dark Manager
If both the Business and IT give thumbs up, the project will be a glorious success. If either one of them says otherwise, make the person who says NO the key decision maker. At least you’ll be erring on the side of caution. However; if you’re the one that’s forced to say YES to some higher up, make sure you’re not cc’ed any emails, have them sign everything and practice your selective amnesia..

The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs

One thing that you gotta hand it to is Steve Jobs' presentation style, a lot have been talked about it and its now condensed in this simple book. Click on the link for business week's round up.